Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Grindr have become a ubiquitous part of modern dating for young people looking to meet potential partners. However, many Gen Z users are increasingly forgoing dating apps, feeling burnt out by the whole process.
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Dating apps have been plagued with concerns about harassment, sexual and gender-based violence, romance scams and other safety issues. These risks are elevated for LGBTQ+ people who can experience hate crimes, physical violence and other harms when using dating apps.
With anti-LGBTQ+ movements rising in Canada, the United States and around the world, it is important to understand the potential dangers of online dating and how LGBTQ+ people can promote their safety.
We recently conducted an online survey that looks into LGBTQ+ people’s experiences with dating apps in Canada as part of a research project at Concordia University’s Digital Intimacy, Gender & Sexuality (DIGS) Lab. We analyzed 624 participant responses that reveal the different harms LGBTQ+ users face and the strategies they use to mitigate those harms.
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Harms against LGBTQ+ dating app users
LGBTQ+ dating app users can experience a variety of harms, including unwanted sexual advances, harassment, coercion, discrimination and catfishing.
The most common types of harms that participants experienced were sexual harms (like receiving unsolicited sexual content, sexual harassment and sexual assault), emotional harms (like bullying and threatening behavior) and social harms (like discrimination and exclusion). Sexual harm was more common online and emotional harm was more common in person.
Many trans and non-binary participants were insulted with slurs and told their identity was not real by other dating app users. Some people they matched with would also verbally attack them or make death threats. Other trans and non-binary participants reported that people were often nice and friendly online, but then would harass them in person.
Like other studies have found, objectification and fetishization were also common for trans and non-binary users.
Racialized LGBTQ+ users said people often made racist comments or used slurs against them. Racial stereotyping and fetishizing was also common. For example, one participant said that she received “comments about my body based on my race and implications of what a Black woman could do with her lips.”
As an example of the discrimination Asian men experience, one participant said “white people tend to fetishize Asian bodies and assume they’re submissive.” Other research has similarly found that racial exclusion and racial fetishization are common on dating apps.
There were participants who reported being drugged or sexually assaulted when they met someone in person. Unfortunately, many people who use dating apps say that they have experienced sexual violence online or in person.
Younger LGBTQ+ users reported feeling pressured or coerced into doing sexual acts by older users. For example, one participant said they felt pushed into doing sexual acts they were not comfortable with.
Sextortion is on the rise among youth, and dating apps can facilitate sextortion and romance scams.
Strategies for staying safe
If you or someone you know uses dating apps, there are steps you can take to make your experience safer.
The LGBTQ+ people in our study employed strategies like verifying someone’s identity through video calls or by checking out their social media profiles. When meeting someone in person for the first time, participants would choose to meet in a public space and share their location with family or close friends.
These are some examples of common strategies, often encouraged by dating app companies, that you can employ to promote your safety.
Safety is not just the individual’s responsibility, however. Dating app companies need to keep their users safe, and participants from the survey gave suggestions to make dating apps safer. For instance, many recommended better content moderation systems to filter out inappropriate messages and problematic users.
Participants wanted features to make it easier for marginalized communities to connect and avoid people who harass or discriminate. They also wanted better enforcement and stricter consequences for people who violated an app’s community guidelines, like making it impossible, not just harder, for banned users to get back on the apps.
Some dating apps have recently implemented new safety features, but many users find their moderation systems inadequate.
(AP Photo/Tsering Topgyal)
Protecting your privacy
Dating apps have also been criticized for prioritizing profits over users’ security and well-being. That said, users do not want dating apps to police their every move. Too much moderation can impede authenticity and spontaneity.
Another thing to think about is how new technology is being incorporated into the apps you use and what that means for your safety and privacy. Artificial intelligence (AI) is becoming more popular and accessible, and dating app companies are integrating this technology into their platforms to help manage user safety.
However, AI in online dating raises new concerns about data privacy, content moderation and technological bias — all of which can negatively impact the user experience.
App terms and conditions are notoriously long and difficult to understand, and most people are unlikely to read them at all.
However, there is information publicly available to help you understand how your data will be used and stored. There are also features in some apps to help you manage your privacy.
With evolving technologies and changes in the sociopolitical climate, these safety issues are not going away. In fact, they may become more complicated in the future. It is crucial to think about what you can do promote your safety while using dating apps, both online and in person.
Felecia Phillips Ollie DD (h.c.) is the inspiring leader and founder of The Equality Network LLC (TEN). With a background in coaching, travel, and a career in news, Felecia brings a unique perspective to promoting diversity and inclusion. Holding a Bachelor’s Degree in English/Communications, she is passionate about creating a more inclusive future. From graduating from Mississippi Valley State University to leading initiatives like the Washington State Department of Ecology’s Equal Employment Opportunity Program, Felecia is dedicated to making a positive impact. Join her journey on our blog as she shares insights and leads the charge for equity through The Equality Network.
